Stewart 'Grave' Gibson is the fighting game loving, Doomguy worshipping, Motorhead listening maniac of DarkSpawn Gaming. When not ripping and tearing Stewart can be found riding the open roads or at the nearest Lucha Libre event.
Video games have created some incredible places; they give us worlds to explore, lands to traverse and cities to roam free in. But as beautiful as some of these worlds can be we gamers also know that there can be more sinister and dangerous places to visit. This then got me thinking, where would be the worst places to live in the crazy world of video games? Well, that’s what I’m here to discuss today, so let’s not waste time moseying around town.
Raccoon City – Resident Evil:
This was always going to be here but even before it was overrun walking corpses, mangled dogs and giant mutated scientists Raccoon City wasn’t exactly a great place to begin with. You see, before the Big U moved itself and all its craziness below it, Raccoon City was a dump. In fact that’s why Umbrella chose it as one of their base of operations so that they could rebuild and control it. After they began breathing new life into the city they soon placed the people they wanted in charge of all the major places of authority, this included putting a complete fruit and nut bar in charge of the police force. Now, obviously Raccoon cities tourism took a hit during the summer of 1998 when there was a slight T-virus outbreak so living in the city soon became a bit tricky what with everything on the street wanting to eat your face. However, let’s say you managed it, let’s say for the sake of argument that you managed to get down to the shops and get your groceries in every so often without becoming dinner and kept your social life alive, surely it can’t be all bad then? Well, if you were one of those people sadly what came next would definitely put you off living in the city because the US government then decided that to stop the rest of the country being infected that they would, remove the problem. So basically, if you somehow had managed to make it through all the madness you would still end up being nuked and unless you were Nemesis himself, that would lead to a really bad day.
(I really hope they didn’t use this picture in the brochure)
Mars – Doom:
When you think of the future you think of teleporters, space ships and people living on new planets. That’s exactly what the Union Aerospace Corporation was working on when it decided to colonise Mars. Now most of the people living there were researchers who were working new technologies and ways to benefit mankind. Some however, were working on something a little more experimental, or just mental to be precise. There were a team of people who had created a teleporter to hell which isn’t even the crazy part of this story. These people then decided hell would be the perfect energy resource for humans living on Mars; you can see where this is going. Obviously, the experimenting got out of hand and low and behold all hell literally broke loose on Mars. Now I want you to picture this, you’re working away in your lab hoping to create a new flavour of pizza. The lights go out for a moment; all you hear are screams and growls. The lights come back on and standing there in front of you is an eight foot Baron of Hell who proceeds to pick you up between its giant hands and tear you in half. The rest of the base is quickly flooded with all types of madness as your co-workers are slaughtered by the dozen or worse, unwillingly drafted into hells army. All this because some robot faced half-wit thought hell would be a handy way to power your toaster.
(Reminds me of my first flat)
Silent Hill – Silent Hill:
You can’t mention Raccoon City without bringing up its smaller but easily way more demented sibling Silent Hill. While Raccoon may have been the big city overrun with all types of monsters Silent Hill is overrun with something much worse, you, your fears and worse of all, your secrets. This mist covered town may be run by a cult but that is not the worst thing about this place, not by a long shot. If you are brave enough to venture into the mist there are all types of grotesque things waiting for you, and I do mean you as everything in Silent Hill is related to the person it is torturing, which in this case would be yourself. If you happen to arm yourself and begin to feel a bit brave then this town has another trick up its sleeve. You see, in Silent Hill when you start to think you are figuring the place out something odd happens. First a very loud siren goes off, this causes the sun to either set or simply disappear, to this day I’m still not sure. After this it all goes a bit, well, barbed wired and rusty grating as the entire town becomes a hellish version of itself of its already, quite frankly, hellish self. Now just like Raccoon City has Nemesis Silent Hill has a creature that is also associated to it, and like Nemesis he strikes fear wherever he goes. Pyramid Head is kind of the poster child for the town and is easily the most famous thing that has walked through its mist covered streets. Pray he never gets his hands on you as this thing is known for doing unspeakable things to other monsters so you don’t even want to think about what he would to you.
(Fog lights are a must in this town)
Mushroom Kingdom – Super Mario:
You’re confused, I can tell by the way you’re looking at the screen but hear me out. Imagine living in a place where the only person in charge is constantly kidnapped by a giant fire breathing dinosaur. Now imagine that the entire kingdom is littered with bombs that have a mind of their own, giant bullets that can smash through anything, plants that eat full sized people, creepy mushroom things with feet and turtles that throw hammers at you. Have you pictured all of all that hassle? That’s what the Mushroom Kingdom goes through an almost daily basis. “Fancy going down the pub Bob?” “We can’t do that, there’s a turtle jumping around throwing sledge hammers at people!” That would be a horrible existence and yet in gets worse. You see all the previously mentioned places have something that can at least be avoided or defeated. They all have a nice selection of weapons usually lying around to be picked up to be used on zombies, demons or evil sexy nurses. The Mushroom Kingdom has none of that, in fact if you want to survive in this place you need to start practicing your high jump as that is the only way to defeat an enemy. Ha, that sounds easy I hear you say. The average human can jump about four foot with a running start, so yeah you could handle Goombas and maybe Koopas. My question is though, what do you do when a twenty foot Bullet Bill comes crashing through a wall after you, or when Bowers himself decides he’s had enough you late rent? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
(Have you ever seen a more sinister looking place?)
There are a literal tonne of places in games you would not to live or even visit and these are only the ones I have picked from my strange and scrambled head. Please though, feel free to drop a comment and let us know what places from video games you think you would be hell to live in.